I think I’m coming down with something. I don’t think it’s serious, but I may be suffering from mild strain of theatrical flu.

Hi, I’m Tom Swift, writer of Power Point, but that’s not important right now. What’s important is identifying my symptoms and reaching a diagnosis with the help of reputable medic. Here’s the diagnosis reached by my GP (let’s call him Dr. Google)

Symptoms

Irritability: Intolerance, snippiness, road rage, generalized curt tone.

Tiredness: Patient attempted to curl up in a corner and die.

Nervousness: Clearly caffeine-induced.

Impaired Vision: Room swaying slightly.

Memory Loss/Disorientation: What day is it? Where am I?

Obsession: Patient fixated on theatrical venture described as “Power Point”.

Appeared unaware of recession, All-Ireland Final, all other major events.

Panic: Patient exhibits overwhelming fear of public failure.

Blind Optimism: Patient expressed firm belief that “It will be all right on the night.

Diagnosis

The patient is at the Preview stage of theatrical flu. Symptoms should peak just before Opening Night but condition will dissipate with a course of strong sedatives: I prescribe alcohol, taken orally.